1. You always yell so loudly and claim that you’re only whispering.
2. You always let your kids run AND scream in restaurants like they’re preparing for a bloody triathlon.
3. You never hold the door open for others. Instead, you always attempt to let it bang at their faces and find it amusing.
4. You never understand the meaning and purpose of queuing.
5. You believe you have the right to act as you like, and you never think you’re an inconsiderate jerk.