To my dear assistant

I know you actually hate me a lot. You hate me to the extent that you don’t even go on Skype. It’s the most typical signal of hatred towards someone right? You know, the refusal to communicate, as commonly seen in all sour relationships. And you hate me because I’m a control freak who wants to know what you were doing when I was not in the office, because I’m a psychopath who have no sympathy for your “crappy” internet connection which can always support your online gaming sessions but fails to support your work, and because I’m a bitch who always forces you to work harder.

But here’s the truth. As a virtual assistant who works for me in another country, I don’t actually have any controls over you except sending a few emails when necessary. And I don’t care if you’re actually licking a lollipop or killing some virtual cops when you work – as long as things are done. Done neatly. But obviously you’ve been testing limits by spending four hours to complete a task which can normally be done within 30 minutes, by handing in crappy stuff which takes other people two hours to fix, and by disappearing like Amy Dunne. What a smart way to take revenge huh.

Now here’s the thing: if you’re secretly hoping that I’d fire you, I won’t. Yes you guessed it correctly in the first place, I’m really a psycho who loves both being tortured and torturing you know.

After all, the fact that I’m spending time to write this piece of shit to you is actually hilarious. Maybe I’m just plainly bored. Yes I should be, I should be.

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