No drones for me please

(Featured Image by Peter Steiner)

Call me a hater but, no drones for me please. Period. I know everyone’s sharing and bragging about it, and I might get a pizza or my Amazon orders delivered by a drone a few years later. But a hater’s gonna hate anyway, and here are the reasons why.

1. It’s ugly.


The current drone models look nothing other than spider robots that are horribly distorted and handicapped. The moment when I saw the images of Airdog, all I could think of was “four-legged spider.” It has a horrible yellowish body, plus fan blades attached to their purple legs.

And merci, each four-legged spider costs $1,295, while another six-legged species called “Hexo+” asks for $949, and a seven-legged predator “Skunk” costs you tears and pain by spreading pepper sprays, gas-filled bullets and terror.

2. It invades privacy.


If it’s an ordinary hand-held camera, you can probably still run and hide from it. But hey, drones fly. Give it to the hands of your paparazzi neighbors and you’re fucked. Look outside your window on the second floor, and a drone is watching you. Hey directors, you can now remake the opening scene of the 1996 Scream with a drone.

Man: You never told me your name.

Casey: Why do you want to know my name?

Man: So I know who I am looking at… through a drone.

3. It’s unreliable.


So how about commercial drones? Wow it’s a sci-fi reality, a drone is on the way with the food I ordered. But after 45 minutes, nothing has arrived and you’re already hungry as hell. Enraged, you call the restaurant’s CS hotline.

Representative: I’m sorry but we have lost track of the drone. Perhaps it’s on its way… or not.

You: How come? Don’t you hold the responsibility to guarantee a successful delivery?

Representative: I’m sorry but the drone’s behavior is beyond our control. Sometimes it’d lose track of time when it’s busy playing with birds or cozily resting on a tree. Don’t worry, you’ll receive an explanatory note at the door if it could find its way. Let’s keep our fingers crossed!


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